7.08.2010

Commitment? Who Me?!

"I am not quick to commit."
I wasn't really then and definitely aren't now. My friend and I were having a discussion. She said, "You know, Amber, I know you say you don't want a commitment, but I don't think you are ready for a commitment." Thats when it sort of hit me. Before, I have even said that I didn't want to be in a relationship right now, but having someone else say it kind of cemented it.
She went on to say that its just I haven't found the "one" who deserves my commitment.
I seriously spent so much time last year looking and searching. I finally resigned to just embracing the single life. Listening to what my mom had been telling me since high school. "Just enjoy [guys'] company" and "just be friends." I made me a system where I would outsource for what I needed. I subconsciously pin-point a guy for each various quality or piece of affection I desired. Now the thought of being chained to one guy sounds a bit...crazy.
Don't get me wrong, if I were to actually find a guy who embodied all the qualities that all the other guys are giving, I would be head over heels. But...have you seen him? Pshh, if so, send him over. Until then, I guess I will find myself torn between two, three, or four...
No half-stepping either. If he ain't bringing the bread and butter [bread doesn't mean big bucks, thought it would be nice], I will dine somewhere else. It sounds bad, but I'm just being honest. *shrugs*
N.B. says I'm so Bella-ish. I don't see the similarity other than the fact of her kind of juggling two guys. I'm sure that's not what he means. Haha.
Note that I chose a photo of her with wolfboy. Team Jacob!

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