A College Student's...
...favorite's words are "Spring Break."
   As of right now, I'm only a few hours of sleep =[, two classes, one test away from my lovely spring break!!! Yayyy! I just got done studying for that one test an hour or so ago. I'm still up, giving support to my roomie, who has a test in anatomy. Yeah, craziness. I'm bout to hop in my bed tho...
   Anywho, today...well yesterday (Thursday), I went to Mr. N's house to bring him some chicken noodle soup. He has a cold. [I may need to take a NyQuil, to be on the safe side.] We went to the gym so he could ball. We was there maybe 45 minutes...then when he went up to dunk, a little boy got in his way and he landed wrong. =\ Twisted his ankle, pretty bad, I think. Yeah, he tried to walk it off, but had no luck, so we went back to his house. After we ate, we made a stop to Wal-Mart. He walked up in crutches and the store attendant let him ride in one of those scooter-buggy things. It was kind of funny. He was excited to ride in one at first...then found it to be sorta embarrassing. He is silly...

    After my test tomorrow, I might try to catch a nap before Mr. N comes to pick me up. My mommy is in town! I have to go meet up with her tomorrow too. =] Yay! I miss her. I will get to spend some more time with her next week. Speaking of next week, here are the main plans for my spring break:
Mon - Tues: Spend time with fam in my hometown and sleep.
Tues - Wed: Visit the homies at Ga Southern and play Street Fighter 4!!!
Thurs - Sat: Go to PANAMA CITY with the roomies at the end of the week. =] I may even get a tan!
   When I get back, I hope I get to see Watchmen. Seems highly interesting! What are your plans for spring break...or the weekend? Well, I'm off to bed, so I can be fairly on time for my 11AM class...eh, wish me luck.
Have a grrrrrrrreat day! =]



Pop the Dvd in...
...and press 'play.'
Grrr, this is the 3rd time I've tried submitting this. Hope it works.
Yeah, so it has been a day or few since I posted last. Its been a busy weekend. So, I meant to mention a while back, I'm on my new release grind. My big sis and I went to go see "He's Just Not That Into You." This movie will make you feel stupid and enlightened at the same time. I saw a few mistakes I have made in the past with my previous "interests." Yeah, I may have called/text when I shouldn't have cause, clearly, dude probably wasn't that into me. Eh, we all make mistakes. Then again, you learn a thing or two. Movie made me really think. Hmm-age. Yeah. I think it is a good idea to have a truthful male's opinion on speed dial. Thankfully, I have my Bestie. He's the best. He is honest and not judgmental. =] Gotta love him.
Just this past weekend, I went to see "Madea Goes to Jail."
When I go to see a Madea movie, I expected a laugh. It met my expectations. So, I'm content. I especially loved the character "T.T." played by Sofia Vergara. Haha. "Brownies for my brownie." I got her character down-pack now. Plus, I went to McDonalds beforehand and successfully snuck in the theatre with a 6-piece Might Kids Meal, in which I got this Hello Kitty watch that my Twinnie would appreicate. =]
I got the purple one.
I want to collect a few more...Hehe.
Sunday, after taking care of laundry, "Mr. N" and I watched Max Payne. It was alright. It kind of freaked us both out. That night, we both thought we saw dark angels.



It's So Amazing How Easily...
...I can go from high to low to higher! Beginning with last night. I was at work and I got a visit from Mr. N and his cool homies. It was funny how they were putting him on blast. It was quite entertaining and cute. Hehe. Anywho, by the end of my shift, we had a date planned for next Saturday. Woot! It's not really weird anymore, but its still humorous! Haha. When I got back to my dorm room, I was smiling ear to ear! Shhh...he doesn't have to know all that tho. Haha.
   I started on my history assignment late last night, but I got sleepy and put off finishing it tomorrow. Woke up and I decided to skip my first class and complete it. I text a girl I know in my first class, and she tells me we had a test today! I totally spazzed out! I totally forgot all about it! I didn't know what I was going to do. I either was gonna fail the class or withdraw and lose Hope. Craziness, I tell you. It was all my fault tho. Anywho, my roomies were like, "Don't worry. Just go see your professor after your last class."
  I'm on the bus, bummed out, about to go to class, and I just pray. Then, I start to notice the song playing on the radio. It was John Legend's Everybody Knows [Check it out!]. It sounded sooo good. I love how songs come along just in the nick of time. [Haha, whoa, not intended.] So I finish out the day and go to my professor's office. I was just honest, said I completely forgot. Thank the Heavens, my prof. is letting me make it up! I can't explain how ecstatic I am! It was a blessing!!! My professor even took the time to discuss more about the class with me too. I so cannot be coming in all late to that class anymore. That professor gets the upmost respect now! Haha. =]
  Well, I'm bout to go and get some grub from my Unc-R's! Its  Breakfast Night. 
Remember, be thankful and smile!



I'm Trying Hard To "Pharrell" It ...
...to keep up the front, but my smile is betraying me. Usually, in this case, I will find a reason to runaway. Try to find the moment between "too soon" and "too late." There is no such thing though, is thereIf I make a move too soon, I could be missing out on something great. I could be running away from days of smiles and laughter. Away from the thing(s) I have been looking for, for so long. The clouds are hard to read and I don't know if I should stay around to see if the sun will continue to shine. I don't want to be caught in the rain. Cause if there are puddles, I'm sure to fallNo shelter, no umbrella, no one. It will be too late to run, to try to put on a disguise. There is no where to hide when the stormy weather is on the inside. Maybe I shouldn't worry so much about the sky. I guess I should just flow with the wind. Stop trying to pretend. *Sigh*
...where is the weatherman?



Another Monday Has Come...
...It was pretty breezy. I had my first exam in my Intro to Mass Comm, today. I didn't start studying til like 2 in the morn. Yeah, not such a good idea. I think I did okay, especially since I don't have the book for the class. That jive is like $100, which I do not have. Luckily, the online site for the book had free access, so I got to take the practice tests for the chapters. Same questions popped up on the test. Her notes and study guide where quite thorough as well. Looks like I won't need the book anyway. Next time, I just need to study more and I should be good.
  I had work today. For some reason, those two hours would not just pass by. Luckily, I brought my handy-dandy new book. I love how it is written. I haven't read anything like it. I love finding a good book to sink into. Each time I raise my eyes from the pages of a book, the view of my life changes. Things have a dream like haze, but are clearer at the same time. I know it doesn't make sense, I can't explain it... Haha. It feels good though. 
Hm, now that Homecoming is over, test is taken, don't have anything really planned for the week. Eh...

Speaking of "Eh"...
I saw this today. Don't let the title fool you...



Any Other Year...
...I would probably begin by saying how Valentine's suck and whatnot. I'm glad to say, this year has really come with change. A very pleasant surprise. =] This weekend I've accomplished a lot. Beginning with Thursday, I let go of things not needed...*cough* The Baller. When I least expected, things turned for the better...Valentine's. 
   Friday, with the help of my roomies financially and emotionally, I got my nose pierced finally! Yay! I called my mom beforehand to get her approval. She told me to call when I go in case she changed her mind. I didn't, but I called her right afterwards. Haha. I went on a search for some accessories to go with the dress I was going to wear to Coronation that night. No luck, but I did get a cute umbrella and a new book.
   Coronation was okay. I don't know why they booked a live band. The DJ was playing oldies like "Holiday Inn" by Chingy. I was afraid my date, Mr. N, wasn't enjoying himself. I did manage to catch one dance with him. =] I was hoping it wouldn't put a downer of our Valentine's date. Luckily, it didn't!
   Saturday, it was time for my first Valentine's date everrr. I've had valentines before, just never went out. It was a double date. Mr. N, his friend, my roomie, and I. A good idea, I believe. It made things not be so awkward. Although, the night didn't go as planned, we had a blast tripping out. The movie theaters were so packed, so we decided to eat at Applebee's. I was happy! We had to wait an hour, so we went to my date's house. There, I met Mr. N's Grandma. She was sooo nice. I was nervous, of course. She told the cute story about when Mr. N was two years old. Haha.
   My roomie snapped this from across and under the table.
I was just giving him some hand sanitizer.
She thought this was "so sweet." Haha.
   All-in-all, the weekend was awesome. I really enjoyed it. Mr. N was sooo sweet... I don't want to jinx anything, so Ima stop there. Hope you had an awesome weekend too. =]



Age Ain't Nothing But A Number?
...or is it?
   Tonight my friends went on the search for some of my favorite candy. At the second gas station, I wasn't successful in finding the candy. =[ However, I did catch the eye of this nice looking man. He was probably in his 30s. I was tripping with my friends saying, "Hey, he might can be my sugar daddy ya'll!" Well, he could of had 
been my sugar daddy. Just imagine...he would let me have whatever I liked. He could even finance my college education! Which would be all kinds of fantastic! *sigh* But, my sugar daddy drove away in a nice burgundy Yukon. Eh. Haha.
    I don't know if I could ever go through with really having a sugar daddy. I would think it would be hard to really connect with him. We would be at two different stages in life. Some people make it work though. Some girls like the maturity level and stability or security of an older man. Hmm, think you could have a sugar daddy? Do you want a sugar daddy? Haha.

In Other News...

    I had a blast this weekend! I have pictures, which I will display later when I update the blog. That is, if I don't forget or get lazy. I just caught up on my sleep today. I had been soooo busy this weekend. My 3 hour nap was just what I needed. I slept hard too. Ahhh, felt good. I just may do it again tomorrow(today).
    Also! I actually have a date for
Valentine's Day! Whoever would of freakin' knew that was coming? Haha. Well, maybe one person, you know who you are. Hehe. Anywho, I thought I would be a loner. My sister was coming into town and she would be with her bf, my cousin with hers, my other cousin with his. My sister wanted to plan a dinnerdate that we all would go on, but I refused to be the 7th wheel. Nope. Well, I don't know...if they were going to Applebee's I probably wouldn't pass that up. Haha. Now, I don't have that problem. Yay!
Well, its sleep time again.
Oh yeah, Happy Belated Birthday Jervis!



You know how when you have been dealing with an issue for soooo long...it seems that it will never get easier or you will never escape it? Sometimes, you kind of just deal, let it be. The moment you actually just face the facts and relax. Clear your mind. The load gets lighter. I wasn't even expecting it. It just happened. You can't help but to smile and look forward to what is to come.
"It doesn't take a whole day to recognize sunshine."
And I'm going to bath in the rays.



Don't You Stop It, Don't You Stop...
...Stop the music.
   Sooo, this weekend, my Bestest-F is here! Yayyy! I haven't seen her since Christmas. Thats a
long time in Bestest years! Haha. After my roomies and I picked her up Thursday, we went to the craziest Wal-Mart ever. I would go into detail, but lets just say... Rule number one: Avoid eye contact. Anywho, I also lost my favorite key-earing I made. I know, I was totally bummed. Luckly, I had an earing and spare key small enough to make another. So yeah. Irrelevant to you, maybe, but that key was special to me. I was even going to give the spare key to a significant other as a sign of "love, devotion, or whatever." Now that I have to use the spare, I don't have one to give...eh, oh well. Hm, maybe thats a sign...
   Friday, I slept in late. No classes on Fridays for me. I got up and went to my Unc-E's house for food. He made me pitch in and help cook this time. Haha. Its fun tho, cause my lil cousin and I be wildin'. I also baked brownies...which are almost all gone. I also checked out the dollar store for the cute eye make-up, my Twinnie had mentioned in her
blog...I bought two! Yay! Thanks Twinnie! I also got a "Nectar" color nail polish and some curl-gel that I'm going to try on my hair asap. I hope it works. I've gone natural and I love to wet my hair and wear it curly, but it expands as it dries. If you know of any products that keep your natural curls moisturized, let me know.
   Later on, a few more friends stop by our dorm. We had a blast. I should of recorded those guys. They can dance! They tried to show of a few things, but I don't have much rhythm so...yeah. My friend and I almost master a wall-walk move. Haha. My Homie-B came over with his AWESOME camera and we began to snap. Wish I had some to show, but I don't. Maybe later.
   Today, after I get off work...we are going to either go to this dance competition or the basketball game. Not sure yet. Tonight we are definitely going to the 90's party here. I'ma be more of 80s, but who cares! Ima charge my camera batteries and take a lot pics.



Have you ever looked at yourself
and didn't recognize who you were?
Its more than a look in the mirror one morning
and seeing a blemish that wasn't there before.
A true look inside. 
Missing something?

Where is the person that use to be there?
I know with maturity, difference is expected.
It's just so dark and the person I see is faded.
Head down, arms wrapped around her knees.
Written all over the walls of my heart is 
"Help Me"

The moment she lifts up her head
I see the line of tears imprinted upon her face.
She seems like she is barely alive
I search for a pulse, but its faintly there.
I look deep into her eyes...
and I'm back here.

Head down, arms around my knees.
Moisture on my cheeks.
"Help me
written all around me.



Carelessly, I Was Writing Away...
...its this thing I call randomization.
   Basically, I take a piece of paper and write random words all over the page until its full. You can't read it from left to right or anything. Its just random words I think, hear, or say. My roommates always like to see what they can find when I bring a sheet back from work. I do it all the time at work, it helps the time pass. Last night, they found I wrote "welcome back to all the hurt." I seriously can't remember writing it or even thinking it. That made it so much more neat. Its cool to see what is written unconsciously on my mind. 
    I believe it may have stemmed from the other night with The Baller. The whole time I was there, I kept thinking to myself, "Just soak this all in; enjoy the moment." I didn't know when I would get to experience this again. I was indulging. Breathing in the smell of him, that I sometimes come across randomly during the day. Feeling him lay next to me. The way he jerks a little when he sleeps. When he scoots closer to me so he can rest his head on me. I wanted to just cherish the moment. For all I knew, that may be the last moment we shared together. Nothing is concrete between us. I could feel my defenses coming down. Feelings were springing back to life. We didn't even kiss, but I was smitten all the same. It was beautiful, I didn't want it to end. Thats just it though...most likely its going to end. I've took the journey before. I would soon venture down the same road of disappointment and arrive to the sign, "Welcome Back to All The Hurt." For some reason, I'm willing to pay the toll of heartache to feel him next to me. Its such a beautiful thing. Crazy, right?



Dodge The Choppers...
...and jump the fence.
I have just ran for my life! Okay, maybe not my life...haha, but my rep. at least. Sooo, I guess I should start off from this afternoon at my college's courtyard. After my first class, guess who I spot... The Baller. I was going to carry on towards the cafeteria. While I was approaching the steps, we met up. He gave me the "what up" nod and I gave him he dueces. As I stepped up, he hit the back of my leg. I then hook my arm with him and walked to the cafeteria with him. Yesss! I did, even though we haven't talked in a while, and after the "you'll be just fine" episode. Big Womp! Haha.
Anywho, later on my roomate was having a guy friend over. Made me think of him. Then, I just decided to take a jump for it and text him... 
"What are you doin? Other than chillin?"
"Watching tv."
"Hm. Can I come watch tv too? Or you don't feel like being bothered."
"Yeah you can come for a while."

So I hopped my happy-self to his room. They have the hugest beds in the entire dorm. I missed my baby[the bed]. His friends came soon after and he went to the living area to play spades. So I got the whooooole bed to myself. =] I chilled, got under the covers and watched Living Single. They offered to let me play the wii, but I was good. He came in and layed out for a game and went back. Didn't matter, I was into The Jeffersons. By the time Family Matters was on, he went to bed. I've been missing laying there beside him. I love how he scoots under me. Feels so good you know. NO, we didn't have sex. We were just there, together. *sigh* BUT THEN...
There was a knock on the door, IT WAS ONE OF HIS COACHES! They have room check the night before gamedays. Next thing I know, he is knocking on his bedroom door! Thank God the door was locked. I was fully clothed, but they aren't suppose to have a girl in their bedroom. If I was in the living area with the other girls, it would have been fine. First thing that popped in my head was hide under the bed. However, he already took too long to answer the door so it already seemed suspicious. I told him it would be worse if I hid and he found me than if we just opened the door. 
His coach is still there and calls his phone. He answers the phone like he was sleep. He told his coach he "took a NyQuil and was knocked in his sister's room." [Haha, @ NyQuil] His coach says, "I need to see your face man." So he tells him he is on his way. Two minutes later the coach leaves. He then called his roommate to be sure he was gone. Then I jumped in my boots. It was hilarious. His teammates in the living area were just smiling. Gosh, I hate being spotted. He checks the hall through the peep hole and signaled me to go. I made a dash for the elevator. Mission Complete. My heart is still racing a little bit. Haha. Wow. What a rush.



There Is Always Something There To Remind Me...
...of him.
My weekend was pretty dandy. Friday, went shopping. I also, went to CAU. It was quite eventfully...fire alarms and such. [long story] I did get to meet a few people and danced a little. We had a small house party. Goodtimes. Saturday, I worked and then headed to my Unc-R's. My sister was in town from Alabama. All of us went to LongHorn and acted straight up crazy. As we should. Haha. I got the huge ribeye which I have not finished to this day. Haha. We laughed, danced in the parking lot, and reminisced about our younger years. Video coming soon.
Sunday, superbowl! Okay, not really, I was watch movies! Gran Torino and Taken were the movies of choice. Pretty nifty, if you ask me. Clint Eastwood is hi-la-ri-ous in this joint. 
"Get off my lawn."

As For The Rest Of Sunday...
...as I was leaving the gas station across from my dorm. Guess who I bump into? The Baller. *sigh* I kid you not, my mind went blank...I can't even remember what I did when I first saw him, but my roommate said I threw up the dueces. Then the convo went something like this:
Him: What's up? *Hold out arms for hug*
Me: Not much. *I go for the one arm hug*
*He steps back*
Him: You act like you don't wanna give me a hug?!
Me: Hm...
Him: What you got?
Me: Some sweet tarts, you know how I like it. [Sorry, my mind was gone.]
*we both walking away a little*
Him: Oh, Thats messed up tho...act like you didn't want to give me a hug.
Me: I'm sure you'll be just fine.
*He looks taken aback* *I walk off*
I will never forget his face when I said that. I know it may seem mean that I said that, but you have to understand. Dude act like everything is cool. I haven't heard from him for about 2 weeks. I know he gets busy, but geez. I'm not gonna act like everything is cool, cause then he may think its okay. Like I don't have a problem with it. I really like this guy and I'm willing to be understanding and I want to spend time with him. However, I need him to do the same. Eh...he probably is not that into me, cool. I won't be on his jock, I will keep convo to the minimum: "dueces". Thats just me.