Just Got Paid, Its Friday Night...
...and I treated myself goooood.
    So basically, my Friday started out to be pretty chilled, considering I slept til like 2PM. I was up late tripping out with the roomies and friends. Got of love 'em, but by 5AM, I told them I'll would "see them on the flip side."
    Anywho, my roommate asked if I wanted to go to the mall. Why yes, yes I did! =] I just got paid and I was in the mood to browse around. I don't really like to look if I don't have the money, it can get quite depressing. Haha. =\ So once we head into the mall, the first store that caught our eye was
LVL X. Especially since it had the "Everything Must Go" and "All Items: $5, $10, or $15". Who could resist?! Not I, the bargain shopper. It mostly had club wear type things, but a few casual wears. I don't get jazzy very often, but I happen to do the most damage in that store.
Yeah, I'm attempting to model these. 
They didn't look good from a flatten shot.
$7 and $9
$5 each
All of this, including a $15 metallic coat which didn't picture well, came up to about $50. 
   Next, we headed in 5-7-9, no luck. However, Charlotte Russe was having a sale on their bras! Just $5. I was so hyped, sadly, they didn't have my size. No love for the itty-bitty-committee. =[ *sigh* But I did find a nice black clutch for cheap.
$6.99, plus tax
It has a chain attachment, but I doubt I will use it.
    We checked out Target, but no luck there. Lastly, we hit up Rainbow. I headed right to the shoe section. I needed some black boots. Lucky for me, they had a "buy one, get one half off" deal, cause I also found some nice gray boots. The black boots were already marked down, so basically I paid $15 for each pair. Yes! Now my boot collection is basically complete. Thank the Heavens they were closing, cause I would have browsed the clothes and probably did more damage.
Oh the joy of completion!
    Lastly, we made a stop at Zaxby's. Our stomachs were growling! That ends the shopping trip. All-in-all, I think I did pretty well. I got a lot of items and I still have plenty of my pay check left. So it gets an "A" for the day.



Double Dribble! Take It Back Down...
Player, I'm Not Tryna Be Anyone's Rebound.
Yeahhh, so...last week, I was myspace-ing a little. I decided to check out the High School Sweetheart's [HSS] page. Yes! I did, I admit it. Big womp! Haha. Anywho, from his new pictures, I discover he had a girlfriend. They seemed so happy. They made a beautiful couple. It made me think, "I wish I had something like that." I'm thinking, maybe he has put the games aside, finally, and settled down. I won't hate on that. We are cool. Clicked and kept it moving.
Lo and behold, I was just checking out some blogs and I get a text message. Well, lookie who! It was HSS. It read, "When u comin to c me?" Whoa! I haven't heard/seen the dude since last year, literally. Something is up. So I check out his myspace page and the pictures are gone. I assume the relationship is over. Wow. So, now, I guess I'm suppose to be the rebound. I may be singular, but I'm not that lonesome. Haha.
I reply, "That was totally random." He responds with, "I kno." I hope he knows that ish don't fly here anymore. High school, yeah, he probably would of got me. Sadly. *sigh* So now I've been degraded to rebound status... Something must be done here. Haha.

Be careful what you wish for 
cause you just might get it!



Girl, Put Your Record On...
...Play Me Your Favorite Song.
   Well, tonight I bring you a snippet of one of my favs. Some of ya'll too young to know about this! Haha. Even I probably shouldn't know about this. =]
This song sounds sweet to the soul! It's the truth. Mannn, I tell you. My Moms and her generation had the BEST music. I mean, I bet the fellas only had to put the needle to this track for their lady and all wrongs would be forgiven. [For the night, at least.] I mean, they would have me at the first "Ohhh I." Haha. =P
  My Moms be hating when my sis or I would know more words to the oldies than she do. Haha. She swears we must have been groovin' in the womb. Probably so. I mean, from how she describes it, when you go to the club you actually dance. "Its a work out, you will be tired but you just keep on dancing." Not dry humping, dancing. Haha. Nah, I know some people still can get it on the floor, but the oldies just make you move. Whether its bobbing your head or swaying the hips a little. You just feel it. Sometimes I want to go to a chill spot where they play the oldies and get down. Who knows I may pull a sugar daddy who'll tell me, "You can have whatever you like." Haha.

That Brings Me To My Financial Report...
   That sugar daddy could surely aid me in some financial aid! So like I mentioned before, I have no idea how I am going to pay for school next semester. I had three options:
1. Apply and get the RA position: Free Housing.
2. Apply to my dream school again. Work hard/submit portfolio for scholarships to get something like or close to a full ride.
3. Stay out of school for a semester and work. (I really don't want to, cause I'm afraid I won't go back.)
   Well, scratch #1 off. I made it to 2/3 rounds for the position. I didn't make it to the third round. Bummerrr. In attempts to not get down, I tried looking on the bright side. I didn't really want to be a RA, but it would of helped financially. I looked up towards the sky. Then I thought, if I would have gotten this job, I would of dropped my dream school. Maybe this is God's way of telling me to try to bring the dream alive and go to SCAD [the dream school.] I've been wanting to go to SCAD for years! When I got pregnant, I dropped the dream to stay close to home, baby definitely came first. Since the miscarriage, I didn't bother to try to go. So maybe its time for me to get back on the grind. Kanye said, "Shoot for the stars so if you fall, you'll land on a cloud." I guess I'll see, look for me in the sky. =]  



"I Don't Wanna Be A Player No More..."
Forget that! Who needs boyfriends when you got video games
  Today was an "A" day. I was on the super high from Wonka's Chewy Sweet Tarts Minis. I love these things! If you ever want to put a smile on my face, send a pack of these babies my way! I also have been jigging to Lady GaGa. I know it's been out for a while, but eh, I'm lovin it. Her video is highly entertaining, I always catch something crazy each time I watch it! I especially love the line: "Wish I could shut my PlayBoy mouth." Hehe, naughty. Sometimes, I just want music to take away my worries. Let the lyrics fill my mind, the bass replace my heartbeat, and "just dance."
After chillin in the dorm for a while, I decided to head to my Uncle-E's house. I hadn't been there in a while. Made some brownies. My cousin and I got into this ridiculous brawl over who would cut them first. Haha. We were rolling all on the kitchen floor. May I remind you, I baked them! I wish I had the video to show you...then again, maybe not cause I kind of lost. Instead, I bring you the satisfied taste buds of my little cousin. =]

Yes, they were THAT good.

Once I returned to the dorm... 
...I ran into my friend J. She told me to take a peek at who was in the lobby. I didn't want to look, but she refused to tell me. I had a feeling I knew who it was, soon I discovered I was correct. It was The Baller. I tried to make a swift escape before he saw me, but with J. calling after me, I doubt I did it discretely. =\ That kind of put a downer on my spirit, but thanks to my new-found friend Homie-B, they weren't low for long. I promised him some brownies, so once I got to my room, I text him that they were ready. 
   When he arrived, somehow the conversation led to me discovering he was a gamer. He, in fact, had Super Nintendo and Dreamcast in his dorm! My eyes grew wide and I was filled with excitement. Needless to say, I just spent +2 hours, controller in hand. The joy! At my previous college, my homies and I spent endless hours on the PlayStation 2. Thank the Heavens, I have found a new game haven. =] Just in time so I wouldn't let my boy troubles get in my way. For now, gameboy is the only compound word I know that contains the opposite sex. Haha =]



You'll Always Be A Part Of Me...
...I'm A Part Of You Indefinitely.
  After reading India's blog entry the other day, I began to think a lot about my B.D. I can not even began to count the moments and tears I have spent wishing I didn't love him anymore. Now, going on two years, I still haven't fallen out of love with him. Over time, I realized that I really didn't want to. I bet if I even had the will, I would fail to ever stop loving him completely. We have such a strong connection. It's one of the realest things I have ever felt. I love him and always will. Doesn't mean I want/need to get back with him. We have a lot of things to work through before I would even contemplate the thought. It's just, I'm finally at a point where I can openly admit my feelings for him, without feeling guilty/stupid/angry/etc. 
  This was taken over the past summer. He caught me making faces at him.
I wish I had a better picture of us to post, but I don't from this computer. Eh.
   As part of our occasional check-in routine, I called him yesterday. Asked the usual: "How are you?" "What you been up to?". Then without a second thought I said, "You know I love you right." He replied, "Yeah, I love you too." Then he went on to say, "We may love each other too much." I couldn't agree more. Haha. Eh, thats my twisted love-life, but it's mine and I've grown to accept and love it. Now, I feel I can really move on...



This Is History In The Making...
and I managed to make some history of my own.
  As you well know, today is the first day our nation has had a black/mixed president. Wooot! It's a very beautiful thing. I'm delighted. In fact, I was so delighted...I skipped my 11AM class just to stay at my dorm and watch the inauguration on tv. =] Yeaaaah. I particularly liked how the pastor ended the benediction by saying "Black will not be told to get back, Brown can stick around, Yellow can be mellow, Red can get ahead and White will accept what's right." I may not have it correct word for word, but its close. Haha.
  Also, did you know that Obama was mentioned in the movie Something New? My girlies and I were watching it last night. Can you say "foreshadowing"...? =]
As For My Personal Achievements...
  Since I had only one class left, 1 skipped and another cancelled, I went to my Unc's and did some heavy duty grocery shopping. Laughed it up with the cuzzies. Once I got back to my dorm, I needed assistance to take my groceries from the parking deck to my dorm room. No easy task alone. So I decided to call Homie-S, no answer...called The Baller, no answer, so I called Roomie-N...She answered! Soon after, The Baller called back and I got him to agree to pitch in too. So we were waiting on him at the car. I was starting to think he was not gonna follow through, once again. Just as we reached the elevator, the doors open and there he was "just in time" [in his words]
  After helping me put the groceries up, we discussed our "ship." I finally figured out where his shady-ness was coming from. It was mostly on me, I will have to admit. I have to learn not to get mad at the world...most importantly, people who are really there for me. After that certain incident, he felt we needed a break. Understandable. If the tables were turned I would had done the same or worse. We also came to an agreement and there is no more break-age!!! I'm so elated! I mean, I really like this guy! I was so buzzed, I baked brownies! =] *blush* Shhh, he doesn't have to know all that. I pray he doesn't make me lose this hope of love [well, like-ness] that I have re-discovered tonight.
  I'm going to try to stay positive, but cautious about things. You know, try not to look for something bad to happen. I've said time and time again, "People look for things they don't want to find and ask things they don't want to know the answer to." 
Family Matters...
  My cousin from Penn. is here to train for the NFL columbine. I'm so thrilled! I should see him no later than Thursday. =] He should be here for like a month. Once my sister comes to visit, it will be awesome for all us cousins to hang out. Also, I made it to the second round for the RA position. Thank the Heavens!
All-in-all, today has been a BLESSED day! I hope the days to follow bring more laughter and smiles for you and me!!!
Post Laterrr.



Hammer Time!
Ohhhhh Ohhhhh. I love this video!
 So, this week was okay. I give it an B+. Work has gotten on my nerves a little bit, but hey...who doesn't go through that. School has been pretty breezy. Books coming in from good ol' Amazon. Cheap, cheap, cheap! Got two more to cop: One book I had ordered according to the university, but it was in fact the wrong book. The second, I'm going to try to convince my friend to use his employee discount to get for me. =] As for my ever-so-endearing love life...it is at a stand still. Be proud of me, I have been steering away from dudes. Keeping my word. Wall Enabled!
  Sooo, Thurday I went with my roomies to the club. Dude, can you say, "Brrrrrrr!" Jinkies, it was so cold. I was in heels, therefore my walking speed was a little disabled. Wind blowing, craziness... Once inside, it was okay. Not a poppin as I expected by I got my groove on. I was taller than about 95-97% of the dudes there. It happens. I think I may have offended a dude or two. Sometimes I wished the roles were switched and I would just hop my happy self on their back sides. Major Rule: NO partner dancing on my song "I Know" by Jay-Z. Haha. I just want to enjoy that song by myself, all I ask for.
  Friday was pretty simple. I slept til it was about time for my RA interview. My friend who already has advanced to an RA position prepped me. Thank The Heavens! I was super nervous. My Sigma Nu buddie, who is also an RA, helped also to calm my nerves and make me laugh a little while I waited to be called in. He said I had "nice" interviewers. I agree, they were pretty cool. I think I did well, but o know how that is sometimes. I reckon I will hear back from that sometime soon.
  Later that day, the roomies and I got pizza. It took me and hour to order on-line. I was trying so hard to use that 20% off deal. Haha. Anyway, we ate, tripped out...My Sigma Nu/Ra buddie came later to help get rid of the pizza left. 

As For Today...
I slept until time for work...breezy shift except for this guy. Summarized version:
Him: "Where ya man at?" <-I knew then trouble was ahead. "I've been seeing you and I haven't been saying anything, but Ima say something today."
Me: "Ohh. I don't have one of those."
Him: "You be all swagged out everytime I see you. I know these boys been trying to holla. I bet you're hood. You sound like a hood chick."
Me: "Me?" *raised eye-brow*
Him: "Yeah, I'm not spitting game. I'm being real. I'm a real a** ni**a with mine. I know how to treat a woman."
Me: "Why don't you have a girl then?"
Him: "I don't want a girlfirend right now. I just want friends, maybe even friends with benefits. Thats why we will be good."
*I make crazy look*
Him: "What cha wanna do shawty?"
Me: "I just want to do my job. Haha."

Ahh, crazy times at work. Other than that I finished helping my friend move, went to the b-ball game, ate with friends, congratulated The Baller on the win, went to sleep. Well, my next shift is coming up at two. Whoopy! [sarcassssssm]



I'm Staying Behind My Wall For A While.
Just long enough for all the stupid dudes to go away. 

  I have been really slack at posting, but school keeps me busy. Plus, I have been spending a lot of time chillin with the girlies. I really like my roommates this semester. Yay! As for the dudes...well no comment. *sigh* I tend to have a really tall wall and I thought it was okay to let The Baller get over the edge. I was highly mistaken. I just don't feel like I can trust him anymore...he seems shady. I miss him though. The times we spent with each other. Oh well. Once I've become numb to the memories, I'll be good. The sad thing is, if he tries to make a change for the better, the numbing effect is almost irreversible. Eh, thats just how it is.
  I guess I'm going to take my friend's advice and "stay away from dudes right now." It wasn't like I was looking in the first place. So, I will continue to do so, in addition, I will stray away from dudes who try to approach me with more than friendship. I don't need more than that right now. I will just stick to chattin it up with Cali. He is the only exception.
   I'm so sleepy...and I have an assignment to do. Procrastination is not my friend right now. Haha. Night.



Its Not About The Spirit, Its About The School
...ever heard of the word game "Its not about the words, its about the letters"? I just figured out the concept of it. Took me dang near forever too. Haha. 

Anywho, not too much has been going on. OH! Except...Thursday night, I actually attempted to try to "go out." My Dutch roommate and her friend wanted to try out the nightlife so all of us (five) decided to go. There is the rave/punk/hip-hop party called "F*** Yes!" that seemed just like the multi-cultural spot. Plus, they have the most awesome club pictures! =] Well, we got there apparent at the wrong time cause we were in line for a good hour or so. It was freezing! Then when we got about 4 yards from the door...we heard that they were acting shady at the door and people were fighting. On top of that, it was gonna close soon. So we left.
  We went to Krispy Kreme and headed back for a heater and hot chocolate. Although we didn't get to party, we did have a good time trippin out. 

As For Today...
  My friends and I are heading to the boys basketball game. I get to see The Baller on the two big screens, woooot. [The was sarcasm.] It does something to me...we don't hang out like we use to. No bad blood between us, its just different now. Hm. Tonight, Sigma Nu party! Yayyy! [That wasn't sarcasm.] I have two good Sigma Nu friends who invited me. I decided to go...why not. Make up for Thursdays downer. Laterrr.



Its the Spring Semester of '09...
...which would explain why I haven't posted in a few days.

I've been busy working and trying to figure things out. I was uncertain how I was gonna finish paying for school this semester. I hate the beginning of the semester for that one reason... I look at all that money and I just want to say, "I give up." Time to give the dope boys some competition. It's not just me, I'm sure. A few of my friends and I have already thought of alternative ways to finance our education: (opening) strip clubs, pimping, selling drugs. It's amazing how gangster a few college girls can be when pushed to the limit. Haha. I joke about it cause there isn't any need in me stressing...I can only do what I can and pray about it. Thank the heavens, things seem to be working out. For this year anyway...
My mom said next year I have to come up with a way to pay for housing. How am I gonna do that...I have no idea. The money I make goes towards food and other school supplies. [Luxuries are few.] Art supplies are not cheap. Please believe, I spent $70 on supplies yesterday and I haven't bought everything off the supply list or a book yet. [Big ups to my Grandma, without her...I couldn't have gotten that.] Oh well, I will deal with things as they com
e. I won't complain too much, I know someone out there is worser off than me. I'm applying to be a RA and to my dream school again. If I get the RA job, housing is covered. If I get accepted to my dream school again with a full scholarship...I'm outtie!
7 Pounds...
...is a t-t-t-totally awesome movie!
I went with N.B. [code-name] last night. There's a little history behind N.B. and I, but thats for later... Like I was telling my roomies, "It was not a date! ...its an outing." Haha...okay, so maybe it was a date. Thats besides the point. The movie was really good. Quite deep, man. *snap, snap* There were moments, I wanted to cry, but I'm too gangster to actually shed a tear. I did water up a little, I admit it. So all-in-all, it was a nice night. I love how when N.B. and I were walking, he will twirl me. Haha. He's a goof-ball. Me likey, but not as much as I use to. Like I said, more about that later.

P.S. So, I'm over my "sickness." Haha. I will admit, I did sneak in an extra dose of NyQuil to get a good night sleep. =] That was some great sleep too.



"Cause Even Though The Sun Ain't Shinin 
& The Birds Ain't Singin...
...it looks like a beautiful morning!" -Little Brother
  You know I was gonna start off this post talking about how I felt like I was getting sick, but I just received far more important news! Haha. Thanks to the people at This Is Sharona, I just learned of Katy P and Travie's break up. Yes, yes ya'll! This fine piece of man is SINGULAR! If it comes out to be untrue...please, don't burst my bubble just yet. If it is proven true..please mark this date down in your calenders. This, my friends, is a very beautiful thing. =] Aside from the possible breakage of hearts, of course.

In Other News...
As I was saying...I think I'm getting sick or something. I awoke and I felt more on the "ugh" side. So, you know what that means...NyQuil Time! Haha. Ahhh, thank the heavens for whoever made that. I don't do drugs, but NyQuil is crack. Straight up. I don't know why, but I'm always tempted to take one extra dose, even when I'm all better. =]
  Yesterday was nice. Uhhh, I slept til it was close to my 4PM-8PM shift. Came back to the room. Chilled with the girlies. We soon took a Wally trip. I loaded up on the essentials and came back. Ooooh yeah! One of the girlies taught me my favorite move from Beyonce's "Single Ladies" video. I would post it up...but I was still looking rough on it. I may make it a P.S. Post if I get up the nerve. 
  My 2AM-4AM shift wasn't too bad. The co-workers who did show up and I had a freaking blast. Crazy people + Soulja Boy + Cake = A Goodtime. Who would of known? I don't know if you've heard the song. Its stupid but catchy...so, I like it! Click the link and take an earful. =] Welp, I'm about to head to my Unc's. My lil cuzin who is 8, want me to help her with her MP3 player. Why does she have an MP3 in the second grade...I shall never understand.



Gotta Be Doing Something Right...
  Second day of the new year and I had witnessed Hateration's presence. I had just got off work...then boom! I find out someone post a big, rude, bull jive of a lie on me. I hate to say it, but it got to me. I felt I couldn't trust anyone. I tend to my own business. I'm very much to myself. I like my shell, it usually keeps me from being sucked into drama and the sort. Not this time. I knew it was just the devil...but I was blowed. I mean, it seemed no matter what you do, even a total stranger will try to bring you down.
  I was on the verge of erasing some good people out of my life. I did text a few too, turned off my phone. After I went to sleep on it, I had a talk with my mom. I tell you, I needed that. I already knew I shouldn't let things like that get to me. There will always be a jealous person who will try their d*mnedest to find fault in you and bring you down, no matter what you do. Why? I guess thats just how it is. My Grandma told me that you even have to "ask God to bless em [your enemies]...don't wish bad on anyone." So I did. Its sad that someone thrives off the torment of others...that, indeed, is someone who is in need of prayer.
  Anywho, after a nap and a good talk with my mom and my F-Bestest, I told the people to disregard the text(s). Like true homies, they were understanding; Cali, Homie-P, and The Baller included. 
On A Lighter Note...
  My roomie was going out with her friends. They were all jazzy, seemed so nice. I decided to get jazzy myself just for fun. I was anxious to piece up a outfit around the vest I bought at Its Fashion. [I may post a pic of the outfit later.] My Homie-S was on the way to come get me so we could grab a bite to eat. My homeboys usually give me honest opinions. So, I decided to get his. I clanked down to the lobby in my heels, yes I was actually wearing heels, so he could see. My homies were shocked, that was their first time seeing me in that type of get-up. From their expert male opinion, it was a certified "Good Look." =] Yay me! Now, all I need is an event to attend. =] Haha.
  Anyways, I changed and we headed downtown. We started riding around, looking for potential chill spots we plan to invaded later. Finally, we settled on going to the Vortex. It was a cool hamburger joint. I had a bacon-cheeseburger. I know I should of tried some new, but I don't like to play around or guess with food...even if he was paying. It was delicious! I couldn't even eat it all. Haha. Ima finish that up tomorrow.
  Now, I am at work. Yeah, I brought the computer with me this time. I decided to stay an extra shift...well, this is my second extra shift. Haha. I'm just trying to make up for the hours I lost over the break. Well, thats all for now. *yawn*



Pretty Much Sums Up The Day...
  Went to my Uncle's to enjoy the lovely festivities. Needless to say, I am full. Ahh, the good times we have. My family is just hilarious. I mean, throughout dinner, the whole day basically, we were laughing, cracking up on somebody. Feels good. My Uncle R. is the type to crack up jokes all the time, but he is so serious with it. If you didn't know him well, you wouldn't know when to really take him serious. I need to go over there more. I usually go to my Uncle E's. Hm.
 Afterward dinner, my sis, cuz, and I went to the mall. We had a jolly ol' time in there acting straight up crazy, after we return from the mall, us "kids" joined together and played "Never Have I Ever."

If you haven't played it, I guarantee it is a very good way to find out things about people. Haha. I usually can hang in there for a while. Haha.
Today was my dad's birthday as well. I thought about calling him allll day, but I doubt he was home. I called his cell, but its off so... I'll call him at home tomorrow. For right now, I'm about to hit the bed and try to get a nap before my 4AM-8AM shift. [Sounds totally awesome, doesn't it.] Nitey-Nite.