Fast Foward

I like how I post about school starting. Then, two posts later...school has ended.
Not sure if anyone else will read this to notice, but just in case you did, yes you, I wrote this anyway.

School is, in fact, done. I wish that I actually archived this year. A lot has happened. It would have been nice to read back over it. Sigh. *presses fast-foward*

Fall. Still stuck on having options. Had a crush here and there, Mr. N was still in the scene. Then came along Babe. Yes, I call him Babe. I was crushing. Apparently he was too, told my Sorority sister, who told me. Bam! One conversation outside a pizza place on campus, I let all my other options go. No questions asked. After countless smiles, library dates, Longhorn date, it was official. I met his family. Told my family about him. My Uncle E spazzed cause he was Mexican. I laughed. My lack of visitation was conceived as an "attitude" against my Uncle E. I shrugged. Christmas. School was suppose to start, snowed in. School started. Babe transferred. I would visit. We would argue: some big, most small. School got tough. Life got tough. I broke. Things looked up. Went to Florida. Got another scholarship. Decisions for next Fall made. Professor gave me grief. Finals. School over.

*presses play*

Caution, Friends Ahead

This week has been...tiring, to say the least. It began Sunday. I tell my sister about the apartment and two of my friends/old roomies were set to move into the follow Saturday. She was saying how cool it will be cause her boyfriend lives in that area. Five minutes or so later, I get a call from her boyfriend. He feels like family, so I call him bro. He asks about the apartment and when he says, "Who idea was this?" I knew there was trouble. Come to find out, it was one of the roughest spots around. He continue to tell me, we should definitely try to find somewhere else. He then instructed me to talk to my friends, so I call the one I'm closest to about and told her to pass the word.
Although we had went through the application process and put down our security deposit, I was sure we would all be aboard trying to find something better for our safety. Boy was I wrong.
Basically, as the week progressed, I talked to my family members who've leaved in this city for basically their whole lives. It was clear it was not a place for us. However, the people my friends talked to told them "it's not that bad, etc."
So it all ended up with me seeming to be the bad person. =\ It came down to a talk and they were saying it was up to me. That they wouldn't want me to stay some where I'm not comfortable. To just sleep on it and go with what I felt in the morning. So that night I prayed, woke up and I felt "no."
Now I am apparently out one of my to friends, lo and behold, it was the one I was closest too. I haven't heard from her. However, my other friend filled me in this morning about their new living arrangements, which I was happy to here. They needed a place to stay. She asked if I was okay and I was, I texted "I must say, to be honest, I'm just glad ya'll arent living in that area." To my surprise, she agreed.
Later today, I went on twitter, and I went looking for things I didn't want to find which was my fault. The friend I thought I was closest to had subtweeted all about me. Saying it shows my true character, she thought she knew me, all the money we had paid went to waste, etc. I refuse to react to those things.
She claims, I wasn't a true friend. I feel the opposite. Safety and peace of mind comes first. My feelings are hurt, but I have no regrets except for not finding out more on the area earlier. However, I believe I needed to live this, its a lesson to learn. About myself and others close around me too. Things will never be the same.

One Step Ahead

Today, my bestest friend came to my town for her birthday. So when I met up with them after they ate, I was looking for a place for us to go. I called the New Guy,
Please note, I just had a great time with him the night before. I loved how he took me to places I had never been before. Last night he took me to this diner/bar/karaoke place. Comfort level was awesome for it to be so soon. I reckon thats where I went wrong: Don't ever get too comfortable.
Back to tonight, I called the New Guy asked him for suggestion as to where to go. He said he didn't go out much. Understandable. I then said, "Yeah, I would have invited you to come out, but I was sure you were tired." *shrugs* We had a late night. He replies, "Yeah, I'm tired." Understandable.
After getting off the phone, I decided to take the group of us to the place he took me to last night. We had a blast! Danced and laughing. Just cutting rugs. Getting late, we walk out...take a few steps. Lo and behold, guess who car I see! -_-
Granted, we are not committed, so he can go as he pleases. But dude, telling me you're tired and you cutting it early, only to later be seen out. Sorry, it don't give me a good vibe. It may have been completely harmless, a last minute plan. But my eyebrow and suspicion has been raised.
Glad things panned out as they did, cause I needed that smack in the face. Its just a game out there; I almost forgot:

Always stay one step head.

9.365

Before I headed back to school, I went outside my Grandma’s house to go to car. I just stood there and looked at the backyard I grew up and played in. “It seemed so big back then,” I thought. Thats one of the things I like and dislike about life. As you get old, your view on everything changes. Some for the better and others, sigh…

New.Year.New.View

After a night of drinking, dancing, and misunderstandings that almost destroyed the newly re-found friendship we had, Mr. N really came through for me.
Since middle school I've had a major fear of throwing up. I use to scare myself sick sometimes fearing what I had for dinner may have been "too old" "too greasy" etc. I would worry so much until my nerves were rattled, stomach clenched, teeth chattered, and I would be a mess. Crazy how mind is over matter.
I had an episode today, the first in years, but Mr. N helped me through it. Something I would have never thought he would have done. He saved me from my own thoughts. He will never know how much I appreciate that. Because a girl rarely finds a hero to save her in a battle with her mind.
It really taught me a lesson in not underestimating people [and overestimating.] Be careful what bridges you may burn, you may need to cross them again one day.

365.Project

I have heard of the Pic-a-Day or 365 project before. However, today I was reminded of it and I think I am going to attempt it. I was thinking about creating a tumblr for this, but I feel this blog is in need of attention. I may make additional posts other than my picture for the day every now and again. I hope you all will enjoy this. Wish me luck. Also, if you are doing your own 365 project, let me know so I can tune in.

Happy New Year!

Whats.Going.On

As you can imagine, a lot has occurred since my last post. To keep myself from ramblin', I will limit myself bullet points and spare you the details, unless...you want the details. ;]

• Mr. N and I broke up, for good. Don't be sad, its a good thing. A beautiful thing. It seriously got to the point where I didn't like being around him when he was sober. True story. I seriously think we are both happy apart. Maybe after some time, we can be cool again. Not together, cool. I kind of wish we never took it up a level and left good enough alone.
• As for my current love life, have my friends tell it and they say I have a boo for each 'need.' I say we all are just friends, thats my story and I'm sticking to it.
  
• I moved in an apartment with one of my previous roommates. It's going great, no problemos so far, Thank the Heavens!
• School has begun, it was smooth sailing, but it kind of kicked in this week. Sometimes sadness comes in the form of a Japanese quiz. =[
  
• Work is going great, I work in the mailroom now. I have new-found respect for postal workers.
  

So yeah, I think that clears it right up. Sigh, there is so much I want to tell you guys, but I don't want to over-bear you. Hm, so what has been going on in your lives? How was your summer? How is school going? Are you happy, sad, angry, hungry...? What? Haha.

Powerful

    From experience, I feel that someone must have some type of power over you if they can make you cry, angry, or instantly fill you with happiness. No matter the distance or the time that sets you two apart, they may still have that ability. Love almost make this power infinite. No matter who comes along or what happens, sometimes, there will be that one person who has acquired enough of your energy, of your love, that they will forever be apart of you. There will always be connection. 

    This could be a very dangerous situation if it is not equally mutual, abused or taken for granted. That is why it is so important that you are mindful to whom you invest your time, love, and energy. However, if the feelings and power is equally shared...it can be a very beautiful thing.

Three.Is.A.Charm

    Today is pretty simple. I only had one class, got some subway, and soon I should be getting my nap in. It's just that, its hard to fully enjoy happiness when you see people around you are going through. If only it was a simple as sprinkling some of your happy-sparkles on the person and its all better. Things are not that simple though. Hm. Energy is contagious and instead of spreading mine, I think I'm catching the blue-bug again. I got things I need to do and thoughts I need to work out. I feel kind of bad cause there are things and people I have neglected these past months. 

    I need to get my feelings in order. I don't know what it is about the month of April, but there is an unusual high frequency of people who want to make a come back in my life. The same people who, in some form or fashion, neglected me in past. Just when I thought it was all clear, here they come clouding my vision. The one I expect to rescue me from contemplation obviously can't hear my distress calls, the line must be cut...

Geez.