Lately, I have been wondering what happened to the 'relation' that was suppose to be on our ship? I really don't see the point or purpose of our relationship. Things are not adding up. I talk to Mr. N maybe once every week or so. I'm not exaggerating. We had talked about this because this had concerned me for a while. He just told me that he thought I would understand; that is just how he is and he doesn't mean to come across as inconsiderate. He doesn't want us to grow tired of each other by hanging out all the time and that he would let me know if he didn't want to be with me anymore. Immediately after, communication between us imporved, but it has quickly sunk to an all-time low.
So what? I'm just suppose to be obligated to this so-called relationship until he grows tired of me. I really don't see what he is getting out of this. Meanwhile, I go to other guys in my life to receive all the things that he fails to supply. I shouldn't have to do that. Furthermore, if I am turning to others to bring me conversation, comfort, laughter, etc...who is he turning to? Most importantly, why am I not bothered by the idea that he maybe he is?
If these aren't red flags, I don't know what is. Why is he not bothered? Why would he want to keep me along? What is the point? Why is it hard for me to just end it? Put this relationship out of its misery cause it is suffering.



Right now, I am currently on a weekend out with my Mom. We decided to go and get a hotel room for two nights and we have been shopping like crazy. I tired to be conservative and not make her buy too much for me. She is paying for my first month of rent when I move in my apartment at the end of this month. Yes! I got an apartment! =] However, today we came across some nice deals. I mean niceeeeeeee!
I usually shop for the winter and fall during the summer. You will discover some good finds. Especially when the school year is near, a lot of stores will be having sales to clear room for new merchandise. Like I got a peacoat for the low today! I was so hyped. The real excitement was a New York & Co. They were having at storewide 70% markdown sale. Yes. My mom and I spent around 3 hours. We checked out and before we got out the store we found more things and made a second purchase. I wish I had some photos of all my purchases. That would took some time...maybe later.
Besides all that. It feels really good to spend time with my mom. I realzed that we have really become closer over the past few years. I use to think we were sooo different. Its crazy how much you come to know as you get older.


I know, my posts have been scarce, but that just means I'm actually out enjoying my summer. I must say this has been one of the busiest summers ever. It started out a bit slow, but it surely has picked up.
Last weekend, I went to Tennessee with my Unc-R and fam. It was the first time I stayed in a cabin. I really enjoyed myself. We got to ride horses, play pool, enjoy hot tubs, and enjoy a bit more of the out-doors. So that now I have been to 5/50 states. Woot! Haha.



B.D. wrote: "Me and you was forever to be. I was fine being your destiny."

To clarify the situation: Before he went off to basic training, I thought it was best to try to leave him alone completely. Therefore, he felt like I "turned the page on him." That is why it was written in past tense. However, it seems like it still stands true. The fact that I have been diligently writing him back is evidence in itself. I'm not good at replying to people via snail mail. However, I anxiously wait to receive his replies and write him back. I have been able to tell him things that I should have said a long time ago. He has told me things, which have clarified a lot of unanswered questions.
I'm just wondering is it silly to think this way? Not the "forever" part. My focus is: to believe someone is your destiny. I must admit some part of me really believes, despite whoever should come along, I will end up with him. Weird or stupid maybe. Its true. I continue to date others, I think it would be unwise not to, you never really know who is the "one." I'm currently in a relationship with Mr. N. and its going well. However, I have yet to connect with someone on such an amazing level. I honestly believe I will love B.D. forever, which I expect, considering we'll always have a connection because of our son.
However, I wonder if feeling this way will hinder me from connecting and loving someone else at such a capacity or greater? Are we limited to only one great love? Have you ever/Do you feel the same about someone?

Much appreciation to T. Miles for his recognition.
He has a good heart, check him out.


Although I'm broke...
Even, I have managed to get a few things this summer. =]
You will find me with that purple purse, everyday. Haha. I broke the strap on those shoes the first day I wore them.
Heels and I don't get along well sometimes. =\ I plan to doctor them with a hot glue gun cause I like them so much.
I have yet to use the $3 clutch. Corrina, Corrina is a classic plus it was only $5. The book is Marked. Its a decent read so far. I love the nail polishes, even though I have only worn the Pink Promenade. I also been practicing make designs with the white. Fun. =]

These are 3 of my fav. tops I have acquired. I have yet to wear the middle one. Clearly. Haha. I have not an occasion or bottoms to pair with it. Any suggestions?


Hello to all my followers, new and old. =]
Is it just me or does it seem like summer is speeding by? Only one month left...geez. I think its time to pull out the ol list:
Summer Goals:
1. Find an apartment for Fall semester. [Application filed, waiting for response.]
2. Find a (summer) job. [Fail.]
3. Get back to my comfortable weight. [Currently working out: 5 or 7 pounds to go]
4. Go to the beach and/or Pennsylvania. [There is still hope.]
5. Make a final school choice. [Done! I'm staying put.]

Hopefully, your list looks better than mine. =]

Anywho, I'm currently in Alabama with my older sister. I really love it. I needed a change of scenery from Atlanta, little cousins, etc. I'm kind of sad to be returning there tomorrow. I will be going home Monday, so that's something to look forward to. My Bestest-M will be coming soon from training in California. Also, B.D. will be returning from basic training. It would be nice to see him. Then there's H.S.S., I wanted to spend some time with him before he leaves to possibly play ball over seas. Seems like I have a lot of men in my life, huh?
Well, I tell you. Most of my ex's are the bestest of friends. When I need them, they are there for me and vice-versa. It's kind of refreshing to be able to talk to them because they already know my background story. You just got to make sure you don't cross the line, which is usually not a problem.